I have always found myself in need of a muse. Having friends that are creative has been the biggest influence I could ask for. I love to surround myself with people that are driven to make art in all fashions. Music, painting, graphics, writing, etc.
Being around people of like-minds helps me pursue my own needs of creation. To make something out of nothing, to put what is in my mind, into some type of physical aspect.
Luckily, I’ve been getting more involved in projects with friends. From filming with my best friend, to photography and recordings for musicians. Just yesterday, I was given the role of Social Media Manager for the band Travel Amygdala, I will be running their Instagram and Twitter pages. Promoting and supporting others in their endeavors as well as being able to feed my own desires has been a wonderful experience to push me further.
I recently had a vacation from work, and during that time, I made sure to do something artistic every day. Every damn day! I made paintings, edited photos, drew and taught myself new techniques. It really helped me feel fulfilled and proud of myself.
My biggest struggle when it comes down to it, tends to be pushing myself. I don’t have the drive that I used to. I don’t have a teacher or someone instructing exactly what I need to do. No one saying “Here’s your medium, here’s what you need to make, do it.” When I have instruction, it helps make the process easier. However when it comes to my own creativity, I don’t have the influences that I’m looking for, a muse, a goal, an overall knowledge of what I really want to do.
Sometimes it seems that my hands aren’t doing what my brain wants it to. It’s like there’s a blockade between my mind and my fingers. I don’t know if it’s necessarily the fact that I don’t have the knowledge or technique I’m looking for, or if it’s the fact that I have artists-block (like writers-block).
I just don’t feel inspired anymore.
I have so many pursuits I’m looking to start. Mainly with music. I crave the language that so many can communicate with. The feeling that others can experience through a simple tune. I did play flute for years, and have fiddled with various instruments, but it’s not like I have the know-how to uncover this need. I find myself jealous of my friends that are in bands, with how easily they learn and create these images within your mind through song. I wish they would let me in on their secret. That’s what it feels like.
I just want to be able to do. I want to do so much. I want to show others the ways I feel with my endeavors and art. I just don’t know how to.

So I’m left here, constantly surrounding myself with artists, hoping to feed off of their drive, to have influences as they do.

Hopefully I can find my way.