Through the years, I have accumulated many plans for my future that I have never held on to. Sure, I have passions, but I could never put a passion into a plan and thus into a career. To give some background on such endeavors, let’s begin…

Ever since I was a child, I have wanted to be a theatrical (rather than film) actress, but I soon realized how unrealistic that route would be to go down. You can’t rely on booking shows, its one in a million that you are going to be discovered, let alone put on Broadway. Not to mention, I have been denied every role I have auditioned for over the years. If I knew why, I would tell you. Though I love acting, I don’t think it’s possible to make it a career.

Another thought I had, was to be a veterinarian. However, I could never put down an animal, so that was clearly taken off the table.

Throughout my life, I have always been involved in art. I paint, draw, work with photography, and have recently gotten into filming. I truly love to create. Knowing that I can make something from nothing, it’s an amazing feeling to have. Sure, I think myself an amateur with these projects, since I have had zero training other than high school, which, might I add, was honors level (tooting my horn a bit), but I can learn. I have many reasons for not pursuing this as a profession as well. To start, I have the worst creative-block that I know of. My influences come in spurts, blasts even, but they never last. I have certain people in my life that are a muse in a sense, but I need to be able to actually DO on my own, and that has always been a toughie. Another reason, is because I don’t think I’m very good. Of course people in your life will support you, and applaud you in your efforts, but I’ve never been one to hold my works in high-regard. This doesn’t mean I’m going to stop creating though. Lastly, it’s a passion. I would never want to put pressure on a subject I hold dear to my heart. It would destroy what little drive I have in my creative process.

During high school, I discovered my love for sciences. It may have been the fact I had an amazing teacher whom designed our curriculums in the most unique ways. She taught us through song and art projects.  I had her for sophomore biology and senior anatomy. In bio, I was the strongest in my class, and she pushed and pushed me to go into a higher level class, honors or advanced placement for instance. At sixteen, I really didn’t want to move around my schedule, so I decided to just ace the academic level and move onto honors chemistry for the following year. Big mistake. Turns out, I ended up sleeping through most of it (literally). With that being said, I was unable to take honors or AP anatomy for my senior year. That was a bummer, but instead of dwelling, I prevailed. I took my regular class, then would spend my lunch and free periods student-teaching the honors anatomy classes for my grade. I graduated with a 109 average. I fell in love with the concept of the female anatomy, the idea that within a woman, one cell can develop into a person. I wouldn’t say it’s a miracle, by any means, as it is the way of nature, but I found it intriguing none the less.
With taking in the knowledge, and excelling with such, I came up with the idea of becoming a nurse. I wanted to heal people, deal with the physicality of humans. I was inspired to look into nursing within an OB/GYN clinic, to further pursue my interests as afore mentioned. While looking into this path, I realized how much money, schooling and time it would take to even begin a career with such, and it was disconcerting. One route I thought to perhaps go with, was midwifery, being hands on in the natural birthing process, however, that would take even more education and experience to go through with it. Now, it’s not that I don’t have the initiative to do the work involved, I just feel like I want something that wouldn’t take over a decade to start.

Thus leading me into my life goal, I am to be a doula. In definition, the word “doula” “Comes from the ancient Greek meaning “a woman who serves” and is now used to refer to a trained and experienced professional who provides continuous physical, emotional and informational support to the mother before, during and just after birth; or who provides emotional and practical support during the postpartum period.” With becoming a doula, or birth coach, I can fulfill not only my need for educating others, but my drive to make a difference in others’ lives. I would be there for an experience that a mother would never forget. I would help the mother and her partner not only be confident in the process of pregnancy and birth, but also support them emotionally. Having such a connection in such a life-altering process, I couldn’t ask for more.
To become a doula, it is mostly experience-based. There are organizations that can give certifications, however they aren’t necessary. Even with doing so, it’s still based on personal experience. Between my love for the female anatomy, and the process of child-bearing, not to mention the fulfillment I would feel though this path, it’s the best decision I have made thus far. I’m very excited to begin.

I’m not quite sure where this post is going from here, as I seem to have rambled on aimlessly about my future. I guess I’m just happy to have found my purpose in life. I am here to bring life into the world, though peace, comfort and education. I will create emotional bonds, help women embrace their bodies and feel supported though this natural occurrence. I will still continue to paint, draw, and act as much as I can, as I wish to push myself in all aspects in my life. I just want to make a difference.