I’ve realized I have a very particular view when it comes to friendships. I build my friendships on a foundation of comfort, tenderness, compassion, understanding, and trust.
Though any interaction you have with another person could be considered a “relationship” of sorts, I treat my friendships as relationships, where they can be emotional and know that I would never judge them, that I would only ever welcome them, as they are, with open arms.
I can come off as intense with being someone’s friend. I will text them multiple times, try to keep intellectual conversations going, and see them as much as I can. A friend should challenge you, push you, bring out the best you in you. The interaction should be beneficial, and balanced. I relish in the times where we can curl up in pajamas and watch some stupid movie, knowing that we are going to have a blast just spending time together.
I simply want to know that I’m cared for, as I am caring, to feel like I matter, as they do.
I put time, dedication and passion into my relationships with people, it’s not that I demand the same, but to feel like an option, rather than a priority really crushes my spirit. It’s belittling.
Somehow, I manage it all, all 3,000 expressions I go through, but it’s how I am, and I just hope I can be accepted and loved as such.